The Silliest Flirt in England
by JumpingNightOwl
Summary: Elizabeth isn't the only Bennet sister with a brain. She just wasn't expecting it from her baby sister Lydia.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I always wondered about Lydia and the possibilities of her character.

* * *

Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn stood in the vestibule of her family home pulling her gloves on, preparing for her daily morning walk.

Ever since the arrival of the newly married George and Lydia Wickham two days ago, Elizabeth had spent as many hours as possibly trying to avoid her youngest sister and new brother in law. The knowledge of their sham of a marriage and how close she and her family were forever ruined ran through her head whenever in their company. Needless to say, it was difficult to hold her temper, especially when Lydia showed how silly and ridiculous she was.

A moment before Elizabeth was about to step outside, someone spoke from behind her.

"Oh goody! You're just about to head out?"

Elizabeth whirled around in surprise. She hadn't heard any footsteps or floorboard creaks. Lydia stood there, dressed in her own garishly colored outdoor gear. It was something she had purchased in London, apparently, it was 'the height of fashion'. Elizabeth thought it was a gaudy atrocity.

Not wanting to answer, but knowing the nature of her sister, Elizabeth replied, "Yes," in a terse tone, "you know I adore my solitary walks". She hoped this would deter her sister, not wanting to be in her presence.

Lydia just smiled. "Goodie! Since I don't know when I'll see my childhood home again, now that I'm a married woman," Elizabeth rolled her eyes at this, "I think I'll join you."

Without giving a response, Elizabeth turned and walked out the door. Lydia followed behind, a smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth set off at a faster pace than normal, hoping to outpace her sister and leave her to walk in the formal garden while she took the forest path. Contrary to her hopes, Lydia easily kept up. As they entered the forest path, Elizabeth slowed down. Perhaps, since it was the last day of the Wickhams' visit, and they were alone, Elizabeth could chastise her sister while offering her some words of wisdom to help her through her inescapably married situation when Wickham would reveal his true colors.

"Lydia," she began softly, hoping she would be taken seriously, "I know you are pleased with your new marriage, but I feel I must relate something about your husband that you may not like. But being your older sister, I want you to be aware."

Lydia gave a huff of laughter, "I highly doubt there is anything you could tell me about my dear George that I don't already know," she laughed fully then.

Elizabeth withheld her frustration and tried again. "Do you even know the type of man you ran off with? A man who didn't marry you at first and cast all of us to near ruin?" Apparently, she couldn't keep her frustration to herself as much as she thought.

Snorting, Lydia turned to face her fully. "Lizzy, it may not seem it, but I knew exactly what I was doing"

Elizabeth cut her off, not wanting to hear more silliness, "Knew what you were doing? You really are a selfish, stupid girl!" All the ire and contempt that had been building up in Elizabeth these last few weeks, months, or even years, poured out.

Lydia, with her wild and flirtatious behavior, had frustrated her for too long. She had tried to correct and guide her younger sister, to rein in her embarrassing ways, but to no avail. Elizabeth had attributed it to Lydia being too silly, stupid, and strong-willed to listen but now, enough was enough. But now, to rein in her temper and go about it gently, hoping that Lydia would take the advice seriously.

Taking a deep breath, Elizabeth turned to look at her sister, but blinked in surprise and lost her words.

Lydia's face was as if carved in granite. The laughter normally present in her eyes was gone. The mischevious smile normally on her lips, was absent, and her lips were flat, almost downturned.

It was an expression Elizabeth had never seen on her baby sister's face.

"Really, Lizzy? Me, stupid? If you haven't been able to figure me out yet, especially after my recent undertaking, you are the stupid one, for all your reputation of being smart." She held up a finger as Elizabeth opened her mouth.

"First of all, sister," Lydia said scornfully, "our dear Father is not in the best health, and while mama likes to be over-dramatic, he actually could drop dead at any moment." She sneered when she said Father.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to argue, to defend their Father, but thoughts of his recent health gave her pause. He had been getting slower, and it did take him longer to overcome his most recent illness. It was why he had stopped going to the monthly assembly.

"Therefore," Lydia continued, "we're probably going to lose our home a lot sooner than you imagined. Mama may be dramatic about it, but her concerns are valid, especially since you were stupid enough to turn down Mr. Collins in a rude fashion as to give him an unpleasant opinion about us."

"What? You think I should have married that buffoon?" Elizabeth cried, indignant. Lydia's never before seen demeanor was throwing her off balance.

Lydia rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, "Yes. He would have been hard to stomach, but marrying him would have given you and your family security. Now it goes to that frumpy Charlotte Lucas." Lydia's sneering face said what she thought of that union.

"And since you were going to turn his offer down, no matter what, you could have at least done it in a way that wouldn't have embarrassed him or caused him to turn completely away from our family." Elizabeth's countenance was unrepentant. There was no way she would have accepted that toad of a man. Even the thought of it now repulsed her.

"As if you would have accepted him either," she threw back, furious her sister would chastise her over something she, herself, wouldn't do.

"No, but I would have done it in a way that he would still look favorably on us" Lydia parried. "Plus, I would have directed him to Mary. She was, after all, enamored with him."

"What?" Elizabeth replied, now completely thrown off her feet. Mary, in love with Mr. Collins? It was too ridiculous to be contemplated. Yet, her thoughts kept turning to how Mary followed him around, engaging him in conversation whenever she could. To Mary walking next to him as they walked into Meryton, always trying to direct the conversation between Mr. Collins and herself. To Mary's face when Mr. Collins solicited her, Elizabeth's, hand for the first two dances at Mr. Bingley's ball, completely bypassing Mary, with whom he had been in conversation with all that morning.

Coming to a fallen tree, Elizabeth's legs gave way. Could she have hurt her sister Mary's prospects? Did she cause as much pain to Mary as Mr. Darcy had done to Mr. Bingley and Jane? Not wanting to focus on herself, Elizabeth shot back, "Well, did you know that your new 'wonderful' husband" she said, a touch sarcastically, "is actually a liar, a gambler, and a seducer?" As soon as the words left her lips, Elizabeth closed her eyes. Just because Lydia had brought unsettling truths to light, didn't mean that she had to do the same in a spiteful manner.

Elizabeth felt ashamed of her outburst. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to see the hurt or tears fill Lydia's eyes. At the unexpected sound, her eyes popped open, surprised.

Lydia was laughing. Full, belly-holding laughs.

It took some time for her laughter to clear to answer her sister. Enough time that Elizabeth was feeling impatient and about to demand an answer.

Lydia caught her breath, "Of course I knew that!"

Now, bewildered and wordless, for the second time that morning, Elizabeth stared at her sister in shock.

Lydia flopped down to sit next to her sister on the log, and imparted further "He's also a womanizer and he steals, did you know?"

Aghast, Elizabeth stared at her sister. This was a creature she did not know. The Lydia she knew would be shrieking at the thought that her new husband was less than perfect. Less than completely and absolutely devoted to her.

"But did you know," Lydia continued, all conspiratorial, "when he sleeps with another woman, he typically steals her valuable jewelry?"

Horrified, Elizabeth could only utter, "What?"

"Yes," Lydia said, enjoying the stupefaction of her elder sister. "He steals something of value, typically jewelry that wouldn't be missed at first, and sells it. Of course, I simply skim a little off the top, without his knowing, of course."

"You're a thief too?" Elizabeth spit out, standing up, ready to confront her sister and lecture her on morals.

Lydia stood up too, and scoffed "He's my husband now, he provides for me in his own way, unknowingly or not."

"You can't live off that, what kind of life would that be? Needing to steal to survive?" Elizabeth said, trying to get the conversation back on track. Now, instead of showing her sister George Wickhams' true colors, she would make sure her sister was on the right path.

"I've saved my money for years," Lydia replied back. "and I've been investing as much money as possible. I've built up enough to be okay. And as long as George is in the military, our costs are lower, allowing me to save more."

Feeling more turned about than before, Elizabeth could only reply, "What? How could you have saved money? You spend so much on lace and ribbons alone."

"No, Lizzy," Lydia shot back, looking very smug, "I charge items to Father's account, or ask to borrow money from my dear sisters."

"What?" Elizabeth felt like she had repeated that word more times these past few minutes than her whole life before. The revelations of Lydia, of what she thought she knew of her sister, were throwing her completely off balance.

"Yes," Lydia continued, "I figured if Father wouldn't give me love or attention, I would simply take his money. Like he should have saved for our dowries in the first place. Besides, it's not like he ever figured out what I was doing. He always thought it was Mama spending the money."

Flabbergasted, Elizabeth could only weakly ask, "But what if your money runs out?" Despite all these revelations, she was still concerned for her baby sister.

Lydia only smirked. "As a married woman, I am now free to do other things. I can take a lover if I want," at Elizabeth's maidenly blush, she rolled her eyes and changed topics, "As long as my dear George is alive and in the militia, I have a home wherever he goes, or with the other militia wives. If he dies, then I have a better chance to get hired on somewhere if I'm a widow. I'd make a good companion, don't you think?" she joked, knowing her sister wouldn't agree.

"Even if Father dies, out of all of us, I will be okay. After all," she paused dramatically, "I'm the only married one out of all of us. Even the so-called beautiful Jane hasn't landed a husband yet."

Now Elizabeth started to protest. Jane was perfect, if no gentleman could see it enough to propose, then they were the ones who were shallow and only wanted her for her beauty.

But before she could form words, Lydia interrupted her. "No, Lizzy, she's stupid and you are too. If Jane was smart, she wouldn't have turned down her previous proposals, and yes, I know about Mr. Howard and Mr. Clark," she added at Elizabeth's shocked face. "You filled her head with the thought that she needed to love someone to accept him in marriage. Well, wake up Lizzy, we're so poor that we cannot afford to love our husbands."

Finally feeling like she finally had a leg to stand on, Elizabeth replied, "But you love your George. After all, that's why you ran away with him to marry and almost ruined your family when he didn't. If he loved you, he would have married you right away."

"I admit, it took more time than I thought to get George to the altar, but I would have eventually. I would have worn him down sooner or later. And if he ran, then I would have just called myself Mrs. Wickham and found myself a position." Lydia shrugged, unconcerned. "Honestly, with how Father treats us, I didn't expect him to even look for me, I thought he would just disown me and be done with it."

Continuing on, before her elder sister could get in a judgmental word, Lydia said, "You may think I'm stupid and silly Lizzy, but out of all of us, I'm the one with a secure future right now. Father could drop dead and you would all be out in the hedgerows as Mama proclaims. And you know what?" she continued spitefully, "I wouldn't take any of you in."

Elizabeth's eyes widened. She expected Lydia to be prideful in her position as first married, but not malicious. "What?" she asked for what felt like the hundredth time, "Don't you have any love for your family? What about Kitty or Mama?"

"Of course I would take Mama in, she actually loves me and she is the one who taught me how something useful – how to snare a husband. Now, I meant my sisters. Well," she paused with a thoughtful frown, "I might take Kitty in, as long as she married quickly. In fact, I might even have a husband in mind for her."

"Don't you dare," Elizabeth threatened, not wanting her family involved in another patched up scandal. "Allow Kitty to make her own choice and choose a man who will love her for who she is, not some façade she presents. It's better for her to never marry if she cannot love her husband."

"Love her husband?" Lydia snorted, "Lizzy, you really are stupid to our situation. Let me open your eyes. We are poor. Our Father may think he cares for us, but if he did, why didn't he save anything a dowry for any of us? He didn't plan for our futures at all."

"You know he couldn't!" Elizabeth protested, "With how much Longbourn costs to run, and with Mama's spending, and now yours that I know about, he couldn't have,"

"Don't lie Lizzy," Lydia cut in, "I've heard other talk. Longbourn could easily bring in three to four thousand pounds more a year. But he didn't because he doesn't care about anything but spending more time and money on books."

They were almost at the end of the wooded path, their home was now visible.

Turning to face her, Lydia said, "Elizabeth, let me give you some advice. I don't know if it will penetrate that thick skull of yours, but I'm going to try anyway."

"Make your own future. Find a man who is infatuated with you, persuade him to marry you, and get out of Longbourn. In our world, with our situations, your only hope of having any sort of freedom is with marriage. With freedom, you can make your own future. Look at me, look at Charlotte, look at our own Mama."

With that, Lydia put her regular smiling face on, turned, and flounced back to Longbourn.

Elizabeth only stood and stared. She felt like her whole understanding of the world was completely upended. First Mr. Darcy, now Lydia. Could she really trust her own judgment anymore?

Thoughts jumbled, Elizabeth turned back into the woods to take a longer walk. A much longer walk as she contemplated her new understanding of the world.

* * *

Author's Note:

It has always bothered me these little things in PnP. I wanted to stretch my writing wings and try to correct some of them.


End file.
